Pie chart

I’ve been feeling embarrassed of putting writing on here and telling people about it. Embarrassed isn't even the right word. Half is sort of like embarrassment, half is I want things unsaid.

The feeling is divided into discrete sections (pie chart) 

1. Writing is frequently bad, I write every day in little notebook or little iphone and most of it is bad. Most of what everyone writes is bad. Most of what I've put on this blog is bad. All you can do is go forward continually and sometimes hit upon something glimmering.

2. Most of daily writing is personal. I don’t want to tell you about the days. Don’t care to let people know how long I shit for or what I did before bed. Mostly things are fiction, mostly I crawl into another brain when I write, secret brain.

3. I am occasionally surrounded by critics, terrifying. Cold cold cold.

4. Instead of sharing and then anxiously worrying about sharing, I prefer to watch YouTube or kill the ants in my room or order a drink or google bed bug symptoms.  

5. Oscillate between silence or compulsive internet share. Compulsion rules me.

This is embarrassing in and of itself. Being the goose is sort of a good feeling.