Techno music

 ok so 

imagine that, that exact amount, and then multiply it by 100 and then you have roughly what it's like. 

At the end of November

Around 3:00pm I realize I'm loopy and high from the extra strength day quill I took that morning. On my walk home from the bus three people on a roof shout down at me. This is sort of my worst nightmare, usually as I walk I'm fixed in some internal world that leaves me soft bellied/boiled. Plus, the day quill. I mumble something about feet being wet (the soles have fallen off my boots) and how I'm going to go eat soup. Home, I topple around the kitchen eating my housemates alarmingly salty tortilla chips and remarking seven times on the saltiness. I read out loud the ingredients on his ball shaped orange flavored chocolate. The roommate asks if I'm OK. I lay down on the couch. The couch that another roommate (long gone) got from their dying neighbor and moved into our house through a window. 

I walk to an Indian restaurant nearby. A million spires mini tiny raindrops mist the evening, explode all over my face. I stare wide eyed at everyone that I pass, 

Hello

The ginkgo trees are blushing blushing yellow orange, leaves lucky clover petals, on the branches in thick clumps and all over the ground like they just couldn't stand being up that high anymore.

December, near Christmas

I'm back home for the first time since August, my parents are super into techno music and my dad keeps showing me these german djs on his spotify app, he uses the small speaker while cooking a curry to blast a song, the only lyric over and over "I like hot bitches". At the dining table he pours me a beer into a tall glass, the music still humming. 

I play him three demos my band has worked on (we are recording an album), he says he likes them. Later, he plays them on the speaker for my mom, she also says she likes them. This is a first. It makes me happy in that parent approval/small musician type of way. Pining pining. 

I drove here with two friends in one of their red pickup trucks, I got the backseat twice. First time, 7am, I fell asleep stretched out out out, I was a quilt, waiting, I was conscious as a curtain, coiled as a snake, a big fool, a blubbery seal. Second time, 12:47pm, I am a round orange, a jittery drum track, I fall asleep again. I dream that I am a small girl in the back of my parents minivan, pumping my fists at the semis screeching by. Honk Honk Honk my brother and I say, fists continuing to shake, in a silent black and white film we may look like we are cursing god. 

I've been playing the electric organ (someone I love gave it to me), been listening to Coraline audiobook (have read 41 books this year), staring at my friends faces and feeling like a burning coal, hugging puppies (only one, but really I hugged her a lot). 

This has been mostly uninteresting blabber, but so are most things!